Once you introduce to fiction writers the idea that it is better to SHOW vs. TELL, they spend the rest of their years chasing that skill, and reminding themselves of that one important lesson for great storytelling. For those novelists who are still chasing that, here are some important tips to SHOW vs. TELL

TIP 1: Write it as if it were a movie with no voice over (no inner monologue) allowed. All visual. You can use dialogue.

How would you show on a screen who the character is? What the character’s mission is? What the character’s flaws are? What the character’s strengths are? Who the character’s nemesis is? How can you do this in the shortest time possible? All of this is accomplished by writing scenes where the character is doing something, or interacting with others.

EXAMPLE:

Raiders of the Lost Ark. Indiana Jones – in opening scene

The character of Indiana has very little dialogue, we learn:

1. He is fearless, smart and very physical and has a great hat
2. His mission is to retrieve amazing archaeological treasures
3. His strength is mastery of the bull whip
4. His nemesis is Belloq, a rival archaeologist
5. Finally: his flaw is he hates and fears snakes

All of these five things are introduced to us immediately in the opening of the movie. And all of these things come up all through the story/movie. They are SHOWN because that is what you have to do in a movie. You can do this in a novel as well, describing actions and adding the sensual and visceral texture. The novel writer has extra choices of characters’ thoughts, other perspectives, and time to unfold things, but the problem is that writers often overdo those TELL extras because they can, not because they should. There writing might be better if they wrote it like a movie.

TIP 2: Crucial bits to understanding character flaws that tie into the story. But MAKING THEM SHOW NOT TELL.

Any actions that reveal who the main character really is, FLAWS and STRENGTHS, and how they are different from other characters. If you don’t have these, include them.

EXERCISE: What would each of your main characters do if they found $50 on the ground in a park that has people around? Hint: They should all do different things, whether greatly different or slightly different. Use scenarios like this to discover who they are, and if showing this side of them is significant to the story, show in a scene that we can see it like the found money scenario, but is even more relevant to the story. Test them, but SHOW us.

TIP 3: Character quirks add interest and are SHOW.

People love that characters are just that: people with a lot of character. Make them interesting and unique and not carbon copies of your own ego ideal. Make sure their quirks and flaws can be seen, and might even be the first thing a person notices. We must see how much Hercule Poirot fusses over his mustache and grooming. Tyrion is a little person who is always teased about being the imp but George R.R. Martin also shows up how Tyrion’s wits overcome his size, and also gives him his addictions and shows him reveling in his debauchery. Lisbeth Salander is tattooed and pierced all over, but still people underestimate her slender build, her silence, and think that she can be dominated, but behind that we SEE a genius mind for hacking and revenge.

TIP 4: Character insights and descriptions

Physical descriptions of characters are (usually) done at the characters introduction. How much description or information about them depends on if we continue to see the character well into the story; minor characters, a brief impression of them is enough, main characters, a lot more can be said but not all in one dump. Spread it out over each meeting.

Authors who use first person point of view often struggle with describing their own main character. They have their characters looking into a mirror, for example, but that has become somewhat contrived. Instead ask some questions that will illicit a SHOW versus a tell.

QUESTIONS to HELP PHYSICAL DESCRIPTIONS: What is the physical feature that they are most proud of and how do they show it off? What is the feature they are least proud of and how do they hide it, or compensate for it?

This can go for their personality flaws too. The surprises of what they are hiding is the fun part for a writer. What the main character does and says should make up the most of what we learn about them, so what slips out? What they say is why we have other characters, and often sidekicks, so they can say it to them. Sherlock Holmes needs to talk to Watson. You can earn points for showing using dialogue, it may not be action but it works for showing versus telling.

QUESTIONS to HELP SHOW PERSONALITY:  What is their favorite phrase? (Sherlock says “Elementary”) What does it say about them? What is their addiction? Something serious or something quirky? What about their personality flaws leaks out at times? What sets them off? Obsession? Attractions? How do you show these?

TIP 5: Other characters – Character contrasts and similarities.

It is interesting if you can find ways that rivals to your main character are both very different, in other significant ways they are very alike. Think of movie Bridesmaids the rival speeches at the engagement party, trying to outdo each other. Though very different women (rich/poor, elegant/casual, success/failure), they are alike in this respect; they are both insecure and need their best friend’s approval. In Indiana Jones, it is Belloq’s knowledge that he and Indiana are alike that has Indiana surrendering near the end. He knows that Indiana will not use the bazooka to blow up the ark, even to save Marion.  Show off their differences and their similarities.

Tip 6: Edits and Keeps

Editing out the unnecessary will often automatically make your text more show and less tell.

EDIT OUT THE UNNECESSARY:

• Data dumps – keep it to the necessary. You can add details as you go and as they are necessary.
• Day to day non story related, or not mission related info – other exposition.
• Unnecessary backstory. You can add important snapshots or back story in a matter of a sentence or two (dialogue is best), here and there, or AS IT BECOMES RELEVANT but don’t do more than that. Always ask yourself is this relevant for the readers to know? How can I show it now?
• Redundancies – Did you just have a character tell another character in detail about something the reader already experienced or knew about – why? Is there a quicker way: I told Henry what happened at the station.
• Remove adverbs and other modifiers that interrupt the flow of sentences: really, very, jauntily, etc. Instead of telling, how are you showing the character as jaunty or a wisecracker? What is their personality history in dialogue and in actions? What do they laugh at? Smirk at? Cry at? Get offended by?

KEEP:

• Plot points – anything that is crucial to plot points.
• Minimal Back story. In the present story ONLY refer to backstory that is crucial to the emotional or physical journey of the character, or a plot point!

Tip 7: All Writing is Rewriting

Polishing your work is when and where you make a last critical effort that you are showing and not telling. This is not work for a third-party editor, but the writer. Editing and polishing can alert you to where you are telling. For example: She was tall and elegant. But how tall is tall? What does elegant mean to whoever is looking? How can they tell? She was so tall she made her horse look small. Yet, she walked with a certain grace in a flowing, black silk tunic that had fine gold and silver beadwork in geometric designs.

In your editing and polishing, look for these things to rewrite for SHOW:

• Boring first draft language: descriptions, verbs, adjectives, adverbs. Create original metaphors! Ask how can I see this?
• Overused wording
• Clichés
• Beginnings that don’t start with actions
• Crucial exposition or information that you are telling your readers about, that you can better make into a SHOW (This is Where the Creative Art of Writing Exists!)
• Explanation in prose that you could instead create an interesting or entertaining exchange for dialogue with another character.
• Do a search for words where you said “told” or “tell” and see if it is an indication where a short bit of dialogue needs to go.
• Scenes that are flat and need more drama
• Endings of chapters so that there are open loops to keep readers hooked
• Endings that are cliché, predicable or boring. In fact, that goes for all scenes.

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