using my 5 senses Shelley Harper Let them be men project

Let them be curious: When my towheaded, quiet middle son was about six months old, he began curiously looking at everything that was in his hand and sizing it up, as if he were trying to invent something better. As he got a little bit older, he then started taking things apart and trying to put them back together again. All of my three sons pushed the envelope because of their curiosity. What would happen if the butter knife they found on the table was inserted into the electrical socket? What would happen if the razor blade they found in the dirt parking lot gently rubbed against their brother’s thumb joint on his birthday? I still feel the knot in my stomach, taste the fear in my throat and smell the rust from the razor blade when I think about this day (it was his birthday) as I heard his scream and saw his older brother and him come running to me to show me the open gash in his hand and blood dripping down his arm. My eldest son, upon just learning how to walk, wondered what would happen if he stood at the top of the stairs and just “went for it”, not realizing yet that he didn't know to walk down stairs. Or what about the time the three of them at ages four, eight, and thirteen were playing hockey in our basement with real hockey sticks and a real hockey puck after being told many times not to play in the house when a cry rang out, and the older brothers carried their little limp brother up the stairs. I still see in my mind, the blood gushing out of my four year old’s temple along with a lump on his temple the size of a baseball as his little body lay limp. The fear is something I will never forget. He turned out to be okay, by the grace of God above. All of them decided that jumping their motorcycles over a mound of dirt would most probably end well. (This started at age four and progressed from there.) But they wouldn’t know until their curiosity took them over that hill. I can see it now. I can almost hear their engines accelerating, imagine their speed gaining quickly, seeing their fear and exhilaration peak as they topped the hill and flew into the air. I’m sure to them it seemed as if they were a soaring eagle, or Travis Pastrana the professional motocrosser they had just watched on tv. Sometimes it ended well and other times they ended up with a cast from foot to hip. Yes, all three of them experienced this at one point of their growing up years. One of them experienced it several times as recently as two years ago as a new single father to his two year old. And yes, to this day they still ride the crazy machines: snowmobiles, motorcycles, fast cars, can you imagine being their mother? My oldest son and his best friend used to dare their younger brother, my middle son, to do the things on his dirt bike that they were too chicken or smart to do, and he would do it! This is the same kid who took things apart and wanted to see how a razor blade interacted with his thumb. This same kid came home one day at seventeen and informed us that he had already joined the United States Marine Corp. It's funny because I remember actually feeling relieved. Now he had a drill instructor who would keep tabs on him! Some of this has to be genetic and some of it is hard wired. Their father is fearless and curious. When I say fearless it’s not just something to say. I have never ever seen him scared. I love how their curiosity propels them forward in life. It’s a sort of confident curiosity. It seems as if many great inventions and actions start this way. Curiosity buds like a springtime leaf. The fearless boys and men act on it and eventually turns into something amazing or a big life lesson.

What can you do to encourage your boys and men to feed their curiosity in a safe-ish manner?

Bonus pro tip: Men are highly capable individuals and if they don’t know that they can’t do something then they are going to try it and more often than not will master or conquer it! Let’s find a way to encourage their curiosity and show them how capable they are through letting them do some of the things that teach them how capable they are without over protecting them but also keeping your sanity!

For the men: I want to celebrate you. I want you to know that I see you. I see how capable you are. I see how you don’t need to be mothered past the age of about four. Can I just plead with you a little bit and ask you to be careful? You really are amazing and capable, just not invincible. No man is, only God is. Don’t give your mama a heart attack by doing things that are not in your best interest. Use your curiosity in a way that builds you and others up and brings the good into your life.